Your Protector
by SkinnyLove
Summary: One shot - Bella is alone in the Edward's room whilst he is out hunting. Her curiosity gets the best of her. For, and Inspired by my bestie. Who sent me a BEAUTIFUL notepad for my writing. x


Not mine. In any way shape or form. =]

Please review.

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My eyes scanned the pages hungrily, devouring every beautifully scripted word with an insatiable taste.

'_I wouldn't read those if I were you, unless you have trouble sleeping'_ his voice echoed in my head as I tried to fathom the decades before me.  
I scoffed at the memory, why the hell wouldn't I read them?! They were more than I ever imagined. I chuckled suddenly at the realisation that it didn't surprise me in the slightest that he was a fantastic writer; even his memoirs were masterpieces.

I had already fingered the pages crooked on his 1941 diary, greatly satisfied with my historical insights. I gently placed it back between 1940 and 1942, smiling as I imagined him in a vintage get up, granddad vest and manners to boot.

I dragged a light finger across from the beginning of his library, subsequently dating from 1918. I couldn't even begin to imagine how much more was in here, how much Edward there was on these perfectly arranged shelves.

My finger, and heart stopped as I fell upon a spine with no date, just one word _'Bella'_ embossed into the leather in a beautiful cursive. My hand hovered over it. What could he possibly write in here? What about me was so worthy of being preserved in anything more than a memory?  
I hoped Alice would give me this, and not tell Edward she saw what I was doing. He would be back here in a flash, I was sure.

I gently nudged the book from its place, and pulled it to my lap. I gently stroked the soft parchment paper smooth as I began to flick through the pages.

It must have begun as any other diary, as it started with trivialities of the days, people, family, feelings, and as I read through the pages I saw my name becoming more and more prominent, scattered across the pages.

"_I have to be around her." _Read an entry._  
"I can't resist her beauty, her scent. God knows how much I want to taste her, and I'm torn. I have an overwhelming desire to protect her, yet the monster inside me yearns to drink her blood and attempt to satisfy my unappeasable thirst.__She infuriates me to the point of insanity. I ran away, actually fled the country, to Alaska, but could not rid her from my mind. This feeble, beautiful human. And here I am, back in Forks, unable to be away from her. My family thinks I'm crazy. Rosalie hates me more than ever. I could hurt them more than anything before because of this human! This insignificant living being! So easily I could stop my family from suffering needlessly; from having to watch me writhing with discomfort because of Bella Swan.  
She intrigues me. Her mind is a blank to me. It is that of a corpse, but she is alive, so very alive. Living, breathing, her heart beating… Oh! Her heart. It drives me to hell and back. It races every time she looks my way! As if the look in her eye weren't enough to send me in to raptures… she needs to have a rose to her cheek and an unrelenting rapid beat to her heart to finish me off…"_

I never realised how hard it was for him, and I felt genuinely upset for causing him this pain. But I didn't know, then, what I could do to him by just breathing - by just being.

I flicked through more pages.

_"I am watching her as I write this. If anybody saw me, they would call the police to report a crazy man who broke into a house... but nobody can see me, they are all wrapped up, indulging in human necessity, probably dreaming about insignificant, ridiculous things.__I can't help but be here, watching Bella. Even if it does make me crazy. I need to see that she is okay, that nothing threatens her… although, her greatest threat is that which stands here in an attempt to keep her from harm, when all I need is to take two steps and lean over her silently, ending her human life in seconds.__But I find myself distracted from these thoughts with every movement, every twitch of Bella's finger, every exhalation that fills the room with her scent.  
__She called out to me again. But didn't awaken this time. She calls my name four, five times a night! I wish I could see her dreams, hear every thought that crosses her mind. What am I to her? What do I come as in her dreams? Does she see me as the bizarre unapproachable Edward Cullen who goes to the same high school, or do I come to her in a deeper form, a malevolent presence?__  
I often wish it were the latter so she could be scared of me, and would cease calling my name, would stop watching me from across the canteen at school.  
__She is writhing, now – calling out 'Edward don't go… Edward… doesn't…. Edward what are you?! Tell me… Edward…no…don't…. leave…"__  
It enrages me that I am unable to see Bella's mind! Drives me wild. I want to shake her and make her tell me what she thinks of me! What do you think I am! Is she not afraid of me?  
Another day awaits her tomorrow, another tedious Biology lesson..."_

This boy was breaking my heart. I found myself blushing, slightly embarrassed by my ranting, fidgety sleeps, even though I knew he was always there, watching, taking in everything I ever muttered.

Hungry for more, I flicked further into the book.

_"The longer I exist, the older I get, the more I have studied, and understood the importance of love; to love, and to be loved. Bella has further opened my eyes to that – the importance of love; I want that to continue, for that appreciation - that love – to grow. I want to learn to love Bella more, if it is at all feasible, I will find a way.  
I am going to spend as long as possible with her. I am going to be around her every moment I can. I will be there, with her, until her final breath. I will hold her hand until her heart beats its final pained thud, and I will love her long after my existence ends. Bella is my everything, my breath of life, and my reason for existence. Yet here she lies broken in a hospital bed, because of me.  
I don't want to be a monster – but maybe that is something out of my control"_

"Bella?" I heard his voice crawling towards me.

The book slid from my lap to the floor with a dull thud.

"Bella, love what's wrong?" he asked, pulling me to my feet.

It was then I realised I was crying, my shaky hand came to brush the foolish tears away. "I… I thought you were hunting with Jasper and Alice" I stumbled over my words.

"I was, and now I'm back" he kissed my lips lightly. "What's wrong?"

I shook my head. "Nothing" I forced a smile onto my face and threw my arms around his neck.

"Bella" he chuckled, his breath brushed my neck and I tightened my grip on him.

"I love you, Edward" I sighed. "I love you, I love you, I love you…" I repeated, taking his face in my hands and kissing his cool cheeks, and icy lips.

"I love you too, Bella. My love, my sweet…" He smiled at me, and kissed my lips perfectly, gently, but with a dull, growing, fiery validity.

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Please review. =]

- Thank you for all the positive reviews I have recieved! I was really unsure about this story, but you have all made it worthwhile. So glad you liked it. And for all the prople posting it onto their favourites... AWESOME!

I will write more stories as soon as inspiration heads my way.


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